Setting the Scene
Before discussing this peculiar experience, it may be appropriate to provide some background to it. My bag, which contained valued and valuable personal possessions like my four-year-old iPod, my beloved fountain pen, my netbook (my faithful travel companion) and my camera, was stolen from our train carriage during our overnight train ride from Varanasi to Agra. Losing the latter two was especially painful. My photographs taken in India over nine days were all lost and the drafts of my blog posts (I was almost ready to publish them, having made good progress during the train ride prior to going to sleep) had also disappeared. The policemen on the train, armed with dated rifles and authoritative demeanours, could do nothing about the theft except to reprimand our carriage's steward who was caught sleeping in what looked like a massive storage cupboard. They could only advise me to report the incident to the police station at Agra Fort when we arrived at the station. A torrid few hours were to pass before we reached Agra Fort. Still pretty shell-shocked, I managed to return to sleep, only to dream that my bag was returned to me.
At the Station
The station reminded me of the familiar sheriff’s office one finds in most Western films. There was actually a cell in it, with two inmates peering out at us through the bars. As Kenneth and I took a seat at the desk, a door behind the desk opened to a room and from there, the station inspector began to address us. His muffled speech and red eyes, coupled with the fact that he was still comfortably tucked into his sleeping bag, betrayed the fact that he had only just woken up. He had clearly been on the night shift. His speech initially carried with it a thick, weary accent and his words proved extremely difficult for me to pick up, adding to the frustration of having lost my bag. It didn’t help that he remained relatively far away from us, in another room altogether, and I was astounded at the fact that an officer could conduct his duties in such a casual manner. His sternness, however, ensured that I kept my annoyance in check. I could ill afford to mess around with him when I desperately needed documentation for my loss. I was thankful that Kenneth was able to understand him better than I did and for a while, he took on the role of a translator. The station inspector asked the expected questions about how and when the bag was stolen and enquired about the bag’s contents. When he finally squirmed out of his sleeping bag, he took a seat behind the desk and, from the desk drawer, pulled out a piece of plain paper and placed it on the desk, in front of me. He instructed me to write, using block letters, about the circumstances under which my bag was stolen. From the very first line, however, he began correcting my English! Perfectly grammatical (I don’t mean to sound conceited here) sentences were changed at his insistence. For instance, he insisted that I wrote ‘in Marudhar Express’ rather than ‘on the Marudhar Express’. We attributed this to the fact that he clearly fancied himself to be a relatively proficient second language speaker of English while we were dismissed as ones who spoke it as a foreign language. In a way, we were proven right when, later on, he was to ask if Singapore was governed by China. He arbitrarily made me cancel certain parts of the write-up and these changes ensured that the entire story was altered and that the document, when read as a whole, did not make sense at certain segments. The funny thing was that he didn’t seem to be aware of this at all! If our Ministry of Education had seen me write like that, it would certainly have revoked my scholarship. He read through my written draft – I had merely been a scribe as he, more or less, dictated the entire narrative – and proceeded to personally pen another draft, making further revisions which caused Kenneth and I to exchange bemused glances at each other. When he concluded with ‘So please do the need full action’, I felt something inside of me die.
A well-groomed man in plain clothes of about sixty entered the scene and sat down next to the station inspector. He took the latest draft and began scrutinising it. I thought to myself, ‘He must be the inspector heading the station.' With an approving nod, he handed the draft over to another younger police officer who was the station’s scribe. Expecting the report to be type-written, I was surprised to see this younger officer write the entire report out by hand, utilising multiple carbon copy sheets, penning letter by letter at a tortoise-like pace which seemed to make the entire world slow down. I had never felt more appreciative of Gutenberg’s invention of the printing press. Impatient as I already was, I was horrified to see a cup of hot chai (tea) served to him. Dropping his pen, he proceeded to cautiously savour the steaming milk tea, taking the tiniest sips while conversing with the man in plain clothes. As Xue Wei trenchantly observed, ‘in India, the whole world stops for a cup of chai’. I then understood why Kenneth’s friend had taken a whopping six hours to file a report for a stolen laptop when she was in India. As we awaited the end of this interminable process, our precious time in Agra placed at the mercy of the younger officer’s meticulousness, the police station came to life.
Leo, Anna and Xue Wei, who had been seated near the entrance, were forced to move closer to us when a small cabinet behind them began to shake mysteriously, as if there was something inside wanting to get out. The older man, whom we thought was the head of the station, began conversing with Anna. He spoke fluent English and asked about our travels. He began reading the ladies’ palms and quite accurately guessed the number of guys with whom they had gone out with. Apparently, he had studied astrology. He was particularly fond of Anna, saying that she reminded him of his own daughter and exchanged jokes with her, some of which evoked awkward laughter from the few of us. We were to find out that he wasn’t actually the chief of the station. In fact, he wasn’t even a police officer, but served as an interpreter for that station (how on earth did he approve the draft?).
The station inspector, who reappeared at the desk looking fresher and more ebullient, also began conversing with us in an informal capacity. We had to patiently explain Singapore’s status as a sovereign state and that we were nowhere near to China. An expression of incredulity was conspicuously etched on the station inspector’s face when we indicated to him that our language of administration was English. His earlier solemnity all but disappeared when he began speaking with us in light-hearted tones. He was fascinated by our electronic gadgets and fidgeted with Kenneth’s DSLR camera. ‘This. How much?’ he queried, as we proceeded to do the tedious math. He moved on to my mobile phone, handling it with a mixture of amusement and amazement. ‘This,’ he asked again, ‘how much?’ To Kenneth’s delight, the station inspector also complimented his bag, opining that it was ‘elegant’. He began to interact with us on a more personal level, asking about our professions and he even appeared to snigger when Kenneth told him his age. He even accused poor Leo, who was recovering from a flu, of suffering from 'slowness'.
When the hand-written report was finally complete (it felt as if one could finish watching Gone with the Wind while waiting), embellished with neatly-written Hindi on the sides and a stamp from the police station, we warmly thanked the officers and proceeded to depart the station. However, we were stopped from taking our leave. They had ordered chai for us! A teenaged boy walked into the station with small, plastic cups of hot chai and we were invited to enjoy the tea with our ‘hosts’ before leaving. At that point, a strong sense of bewilderment overwhelmed me. How on earth did the solemn and usually mundane practice of making a police report turn out to be like a scene in a Bollywood film? Reminded that in India, ‘everything is possible’, I gave up thinking in such terms and embraced the experience for what it was. At the end of it, Anna remarked, ‘At least you are laughing again.’ A seemingly routine task (we should have realised from experience that, in India, nothing's allowed to be routine) turned out to be one of the most indelible episodes in my travel history. It is only in India where visiting a little police station at Agra Fort Train Station can leave as deep an impression on you as watching the sunrise at the magnificent Taj Mahal does. It was such a queer experience that Kenneth suggested that we take a photograph with the policemen to commemorate the moment. After initial reluctance on the station inspector's part (he felt that he needed a shave), he and the interpreter acceded to our request.
After the time we spent at the police station, the interpreter walked us out of the train station to get a taxi to take us to our accommodation. On the way out, I noticed a sign hanging prominently near the train station's entrance. On it were the words 'Incredible India', the name of an international marketing campaign by India's government to promote tourism in the country to the global audience. After our experiences in the country (and most recently, at the police station), I couldn't help but think that no other adjective could more honestly and accurately describe India. The place was truly incredible, beyond anything one could imagine. Perhaps, it was quite appropriate that the book I brought along for the trip, Nandan Nilekani's Imagining India, was stolen together with the other items in my bag. The theft seemed to symbolically teach me that it was simply pointless trying to imagine India. If the country could be likened to a lady, it would be the one described in Billy Joel's 'She's Always a Woman':
She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me.
India is who she is. One could do worse than to, upon taking the first step out of the airplane, jettison all preconceptions and expectations and to, simply, embrace her as the unsolvable mystery that she is.
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| RIP, Red Bag. |
At the Station
The station reminded me of the familiar sheriff’s office one finds in most Western films. There was actually a cell in it, with two inmates peering out at us through the bars. As Kenneth and I took a seat at the desk, a door behind the desk opened to a room and from there, the station inspector began to address us. His muffled speech and red eyes, coupled with the fact that he was still comfortably tucked into his sleeping bag, betrayed the fact that he had only just woken up. He had clearly been on the night shift. His speech initially carried with it a thick, weary accent and his words proved extremely difficult for me to pick up, adding to the frustration of having lost my bag. It didn’t help that he remained relatively far away from us, in another room altogether, and I was astounded at the fact that an officer could conduct his duties in such a casual manner. His sternness, however, ensured that I kept my annoyance in check. I could ill afford to mess around with him when I desperately needed documentation for my loss. I was thankful that Kenneth was able to understand him better than I did and for a while, he took on the role of a translator. The station inspector asked the expected questions about how and when the bag was stolen and enquired about the bag’s contents. When he finally squirmed out of his sleeping bag, he took a seat behind the desk and, from the desk drawer, pulled out a piece of plain paper and placed it on the desk, in front of me. He instructed me to write, using block letters, about the circumstances under which my bag was stolen. From the very first line, however, he began correcting my English! Perfectly grammatical (I don’t mean to sound conceited here) sentences were changed at his insistence. For instance, he insisted that I wrote ‘in Marudhar Express’ rather than ‘on the Marudhar Express’. We attributed this to the fact that he clearly fancied himself to be a relatively proficient second language speaker of English while we were dismissed as ones who spoke it as a foreign language. In a way, we were proven right when, later on, he was to ask if Singapore was governed by China. He arbitrarily made me cancel certain parts of the write-up and these changes ensured that the entire story was altered and that the document, when read as a whole, did not make sense at certain segments. The funny thing was that he didn’t seem to be aware of this at all! If our Ministry of Education had seen me write like that, it would certainly have revoked my scholarship. He read through my written draft – I had merely been a scribe as he, more or less, dictated the entire narrative – and proceeded to personally pen another draft, making further revisions which caused Kenneth and I to exchange bemused glances at each other. When he concluded with ‘So please do the need full action’, I felt something inside of me die.
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| The Draft |
A well-groomed man in plain clothes of about sixty entered the scene and sat down next to the station inspector. He took the latest draft and began scrutinising it. I thought to myself, ‘He must be the inspector heading the station.' With an approving nod, he handed the draft over to another younger police officer who was the station’s scribe. Expecting the report to be type-written, I was surprised to see this younger officer write the entire report out by hand, utilising multiple carbon copy sheets, penning letter by letter at a tortoise-like pace which seemed to make the entire world slow down. I had never felt more appreciative of Gutenberg’s invention of the printing press. Impatient as I already was, I was horrified to see a cup of hot chai (tea) served to him. Dropping his pen, he proceeded to cautiously savour the steaming milk tea, taking the tiniest sips while conversing with the man in plain clothes. As Xue Wei trenchantly observed, ‘in India, the whole world stops for a cup of chai’. I then understood why Kenneth’s friend had taken a whopping six hours to file a report for a stolen laptop when she was in India. As we awaited the end of this interminable process, our precious time in Agra placed at the mercy of the younger officer’s meticulousness, the police station came to life.
Leo, Anna and Xue Wei, who had been seated near the entrance, were forced to move closer to us when a small cabinet behind them began to shake mysteriously, as if there was something inside wanting to get out. The older man, whom we thought was the head of the station, began conversing with Anna. He spoke fluent English and asked about our travels. He began reading the ladies’ palms and quite accurately guessed the number of guys with whom they had gone out with. Apparently, he had studied astrology. He was particularly fond of Anna, saying that she reminded him of his own daughter and exchanged jokes with her, some of which evoked awkward laughter from the few of us. We were to find out that he wasn’t actually the chief of the station. In fact, he wasn’t even a police officer, but served as an interpreter for that station (how on earth did he approve the draft?).
| The interpreter with Anna |
When the hand-written report was finally complete (it felt as if one could finish watching Gone with the Wind while waiting), embellished with neatly-written Hindi on the sides and a stamp from the police station, we warmly thanked the officers and proceeded to depart the station. However, we were stopped from taking our leave. They had ordered chai for us! A teenaged boy walked into the station with small, plastic cups of hot chai and we were invited to enjoy the tea with our ‘hosts’ before leaving. At that point, a strong sense of bewilderment overwhelmed me. How on earth did the solemn and usually mundane practice of making a police report turn out to be like a scene in a Bollywood film? Reminded that in India, ‘everything is possible’, I gave up thinking in such terms and embraced the experience for what it was. At the end of it, Anna remarked, ‘At least you are laughing again.’ A seemingly routine task (we should have realised from experience that, in India, nothing's allowed to be routine) turned out to be one of the most indelible episodes in my travel history. It is only in India where visiting a little police station at Agra Fort Train Station can leave as deep an impression on you as watching the sunrise at the magnificent Taj Mahal does. It was such a queer experience that Kenneth suggested that we take a photograph with the policemen to commemorate the moment. After initial reluctance on the station inspector's part (he felt that he needed a shave), he and the interpreter acceded to our request.
| With the Station Inspector and the Interpreter |
She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me.
India is who she is. One could do worse than to, upon taking the first step out of the airplane, jettison all preconceptions and expectations and to, simply, embrace her as the unsolvable mystery that she is.





